…is actually quite subjective 🙂 Like most things, when we quit all the mental aerobics, it just comes down to a choice. In fact, we are probably one of the worst judges of how we look because our insecurities make us biased. I actually like subjectivity as it applies to self-judgement, but ONLY if we can learn to judge FAVORABLY.
Besides, being a certain weight, circumference or dress size, without the personal biases we place on them, are arbitrary–have no meaning. We MAKE them mean something.
I remember talking to a client of mine a couple years ago, a woman who was in her early 40s and she told me that she “needed to get down to 119 lbs.” Well, naturally I was surprised at her specificity, and inquired about it. She said it was what she weighed AS A FRESHMAN IN COLLEGE. Here, over 20 years and 3 kids later, she was still desperately holding on to a number that meant something to her as a teenager, like it was some sort of magic pill for happiness.
Why? Why do we make it about a specific number? A random number. 119 lbs is not healthy if it’s skinny fat or done in a way that makes us miserable. I’d rather be a strong, healthy & happy 150 lbs than struggle in dissatisfaction for 20 years to reach a number that holds no real value except the one we made up in our head.
What is valuable however, is health, functionality and happiness.
As a fitness and nutrition pro, I don’t advocate just any weight as “healthy.” Obese is not healthy. But I do advocate LIKING YOURSELF in the meantime as you strive towards a healthier body fat percentage.
The two are not mutually exclusive. You can like yourself NOW, while also striving for more in the FUTURE. This is called “acceptance without resignation.” And despite the fact that we often think dissatisfaction is what drives us, most people are actually MORE motivated when they experience a sense of self-acceptance. Less mental effort used for self-loathing, therefore more mental effort available to help us stay on track with our healthy goals.
Ok, so let’s try this: Look in the mirror and say, “I’m ok.” Can you say it with conviction? Or are you faking it? Try, then try again. And again 🙂
Want more mindset coaching? Contact me to schedule an appointment to receive online or in-person mindset coaching to begin your journey to mastering your self-image and food obsessions.
As always, let me know how you’re doing, and drop me a line.
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